GLASS HALF EMPTY   

So really, is the glass half full or half empty? The answer to such a simple question varies. When one answers, it generally reveals how one sees the world...their world. I came into the world as a pessimist. I saw the emptiness of the glass. I saw what was missing. As I matured, I would respond to my optimistic friends that I was not a "pessimist but a realist". Either way, my eyes and my heart could only focus on the reality of the emptiness of the glass...the hopelessness of  not enough.

In my twentieth year I found the Lover of my soul. Actually, He found me. I learned to take my half empty glass to Him often. I would hold it up, front and center, and explain to Him how it was not enough. How I was not enough. How my circumstances were not enough. Eventually, the glass grew larger, because now I had a husband who was showing signs of  being not enough. Then we had our three precious daughters and I became gripped with the fear, paralyzed actually, that I simply was the half empty glass, and I was obviously not enough to be in charge of shaping those priceless treasures.  It was exhausting. The glass seemed heavier each time I carried it to Him.

I cried out to Him to change the focus of my eyes...to change the focus of my heart. Life with those pink precious bundles became busier than I ever imagined. No matter how busy I became, no matter how exhausted I was for not getting a single night of undisturbed sleep for five long years...it was vital that I met Him each day, and fed upon His words. He was my substance...He was manna for my soul. He was enough!

I don't know how many months or years had passed by, in the blur of my more than busy life, when I realized one day that the glass was half full! Half full!!! I saw it with my own eyes!  It was one of those embarrassing moments, when you know that all of heaven has been waiting for your response to His miracle to you, and you hadn't even noticed. Somewhere in the whirl of  life,  He had answered my heart cry and had made me new. Where He simply, as if without effort, cut out that place inside of me, that place of hopelessness, that place that I thought "was me" and He mysteriously left a part of Himself. That place of putrid stench, He replaced with His fragrance of hope.

I can't begin to tell you how much life changed for me with that new view- a glass half full. I had hope for the first time, without having to wrestle for it. Just waking in the early morning light of it was breathtaking. How did He do it? I wish I could tell you. But, all I can tell you, is that I know that I know He did. He delights in giving good gifts to His children! For I was once blind, blind to the hope we have in Him, but now I see! I really see!