Tuesday, December 29, 2015


I had the sweetest dream this morning right before I awoke. I dreamt that my precious Aunt Estelle was visiting me. She was lying down resting. Laying beside her, mostly covered by a soft blanket that was snuggled close to her, was a floral purse. The purse looked like my own. As she laid there so sweet and content, drifting in and out of sleep, I was busy going to and fro. Their were many of my loved ones there and I was busy entertaining, cooking and gathering things up to put in their proper place.

At some point in my busyness, I spotted that half hidden purse, and thinking it was mine, I gently moved towards her to remove it and put it away where it belonged. As my hand so softly tried to retract the bag, her eyes opened immediately and to my surprise, she too grasped it. Her eyes twinkled as she looked into mine. Our faces were close in proximity as I had come in close to sneak the bag out of her way. Without words we had the most beautiful exchange. I instinctively knew this way her purse and not mine. I was instantly embarrassed about having tried to take it from her as she protected it while sleeping so peacefully. But there was more to the purse than just its floral tapestry and leather that was so familiar. 

Somehow in that moment I knew the purse was full of all the memories that we both shared of her two sisters, Annie and Opal. This was why the purse looked so familiar to me. It was alive with memories of my precious grandmother and my sweet Aunt Opie. I could see the amazement in her eyes, and knew she too was seeing them. We embraced one another, her with her hand still clutched to her bag and mine embracing her and neither of us wanted to move. We were mesmerized as memory after memory poured forth filled with their laughter and giggling. Joy was everywhere. It was the most quaint of moments...as if fairy dust was floating all around us. In this moment, we were more alive than we had been only minutes before. As time stood still, they were more alive to us than they had been in years. There was such a longing to breathe this moment in deeply. Neither of us wanted this encounter to ever end so we dared not move.

I could feel myself trying to awaken from the dream, and as only one can do while dreaming...I wrestled to not awaken, knowing that I would lose this euphoric, yet very real embrace to those I can no longer touch. In the twinkling of an eye I knew I could not hold on to the dream and as I awakened lying in my bed, before ever opening my eyes, I could feel the bright light of morning bursting in, streaming through the sheers covering my window. My room was drenched with morning sun and in my heart, I knew it was going to be a really beautiful day!

Sunday, December 13, 2015


I've heard the words before, but today they stick, they move something within me that needs a good
push. Gabriel has just given Mary the news that she has been chosen by her Father to be the vessel who will usher Jesus into the world, into her world. His words must have been inconceivable and His promise too big to wrap her mind around, yet something came to life inside of her and these are the words that came from her lips: "Let it be to me according to Your word." That's it! No debate, no wrestling, but simply an understanding that the promise had very little to do with her and everything to do with the One who spoke it. In order to pull this thing off, God and God alone would have to fulfill His word to her. Her part was to simply believe the unbelievable and wait on the Father to do it through her. Through simply yielding her life to the work of the Father, others would be able to personally come to know Jesus.

I remember being so protective when I carried my three little ones in my womb. I can't imagine how careful Mary must have been, knowing she was caring the Devine within her earthly tent. With every move she must have been aware of His presence within her. Her conversation, her choices and even her thought life must have seem magnified with her awareness of His nearness.

I realize that little has changed. The Father has chosen to use me as a vessel to bring Him to my world as well. While it is true that I will not literally carry His very real flesh within my womb, I cannot help but see the privilege I have been given to host His very real Spirit within my very being. Today I am reminded that what the Father has asked me to do is not that different than what He asked of Mary. Like Mary, I am given the opportunity to partner with the Father in bringing life to others, by bringing forth Jesus through my own.  Like Mary, I must put my trust not in myself, but in the One who can fulfill His own request through my yielded heart. My response must simply be, "Let it be to me according to Your word."  May I live with the understanding that my conversations, my choices and even my thought life are lived out in His presence. May I carry Him into my world with the same conviction that Mary had, knowing that I have been given life's greatest gift of carrying the Devine within my earthly tent. May my life be a birthplace, to usher Jesus into the world... into my world.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015



It happened again this morning. In the midst of a conflict I felt Love's gentle presence leading me to peer into my heart, and see yet another wall standing there. Last summer I made the courageous decision to refuse to allow any walls to hide in the recesses of my heart. I want every single one thrown down into a million pieces. Love's job is to help me see them. Then my job is to hold His hand while I allow Him to show me why they are there. Once I clearly see  "the why" behind the wall, it becomes much easier to ask Him to remove it.

So far, every wall has been erected there because of a lie I had strongly believed, when I was at my weakest. When I felt vulnerable the enemy convinced me that a wall would keep me safe. When I felt unloved, he convinced me I could close myself off, and protect myself from the one  who had wounded me. When I was afraid to deal with conflict, he convinced me I could hide behind the protection of the vast wall and keep my peace. Every wall within my heart is nothing less than a fortress for his lies.

The only thing the walls have ever protected is my enemy, not my heart. My heart is my most precious real estate. Every square inch that I have given to the enemy of my soul, I am unable to give to the Lover of my soul. It is true that I am Love's promised land. He has sought me for Himself and paid a great price. It is also true that He will fight just as hard to rid me of the giants in my land for His namesake. My walls are like the giants that taunt and spout out lies of how fearful I should be to come against them. But just like the giant that David beheaded, the walls left erected in my heart are the only thing that stands between me and all that Love has given me. It's a good day to see another wall fall...and another giants head to roll.