Thursday, January 22, 2015

You know me. You know me well. Who else sees me the way You do? Who can love me like You?
No one else moves towards me the way that only You can. You are my Beloved.

You put the words in the heart of a girl who lives on the other side of the continent. Then you hum to her the tune that the words should be set to. She writes and plays and records the music that somehow makes it into my home, into my sanctuary. As the song list unfurls around me, You remind me of the moments we have shared together. Not just one song, but several bring back memories and conversations with You. I realize that it is no accident that the album truly seems like it was written for me...for us.

She may have penned the words, but You had already breathed them into me. As they move towards me in melody I see them played out in my minds eye. I know You are reminding me of what seemed at the time, to be independent moments, now laced together, to once again prove to me how close You are. As only You can, You are assuring me that I am safe with You...we are safe with You.

Only You knew, that the songs would land in my heart before You would give me another dream. The dream encouraging me "to bring You hope". It wasn't a surprise to You that the dream would arrive only days before hard news.

Hard news is never easy! It's never my default to walk through hard times with "hope". I'm known to fumble around in the if that is all there is.

You see me, and You know me. You comfort those in their affliction. You wrote ballads and dreams, both of which You sent to me, to remind me, so that I could remind others, that "We truly have hope!" We truly are safe!

The journey is much harder than I would like...but each time my default begins to wear me thin. I remind myself to "bring You hope so that You have something to work with!" Then I press play one more time on the CD player as the music begins to slip into my soul and I find myself once again dancing in Your presence.

I am left speechless at how You love us. You go before us. You go with us. You hem us in from behind...we have hope in You and Your heart. We are safe!

Friday, January 2, 2015

Maybe it's not New Year Resolutions that we need, as much as New Year Revelation. I'm turning 54 and I've never made a New Years Resolution. The idea of resolutions is one of changing my behavior...I've learned that my behavior never changes long term until my heart has. It comes with no real power...just self-determination. I may not know a lot, but one of the things I do know is "self-determination" ends with "termination". Trust me, I know that by experience, not just by phonetics.  I never have liked to start something I couldn't finish well. So again this year I will reach for revelation.

Revelation is not dependent on my determination. It is always dependent on His...and that is the only thing in the universe that never changes. Yet, it is the Grace which accompanies revelation that changes everything. Every January first it remains the same. Revelation comes with the power inherit within it to propel me in it's direction. As Light reveals what darkness has hidden from my understanding, I am drawn, I am wooed to walk into it's light. It is the opposite of self-determination for it is a divine invitation. When I say yes to this divine invitation, Grace empowers me to walk in the newness of Love's revelation. Only with Grace am I able to do what I couldn't do before. It is not a whipping-up of the will, but a surrendering of the same. It is not self-determination but a Grace-determination. It is a laboring to enter His rest and not one of self works. (Heb. 4:10)

I have fallen more than I have entered...not because Grace doesn't work, but because I move back into self works, but the invitation is new every morning...I don't have to wait until next year to try and everyday is looking bright. My prayer is that we may all seek Light's invitation to open the door into His revelation and be welcomed by the arms of Grace!